Read time: 7 minutes

It was when my boss asked my colleague to alter the map for the third time, that the three of us realised, we were perceiving the same map colours differently. She had four types of green-blue hues, some were darker, some were lighter, all were different. Or for two of us they were. Our boss couldn’t tell them apart. It was an eureka moment. He wasn’t colour blind – officially, but he really struggled to see the colour differences that were so obvious to us. When we checked with another, non-colour blind, male colleague, the comments were the same: ‘I can’t tell the difference between this one and that one.’

I suspect we each perceive colour differently, for example I know that my teal is someone else’s blue. I think we all see shades a little differently, but that on balance we are probably more similar than not. Interestingly, little babies are born seeing in black-and-white, but one of the first colours they can see and differentiate is red. I don’t know if this is because nature uses red to alert us; if it was natural selection, the babies that saw red first were more likely to survive. Certainly, red gets our attention. 

We have two brains: an older brain, often called the reptilian brain; and a newer brain, referred to as the neocortex. We operate from our reptilian brain, our instinctive responses, most of the time. It is such an ancient programming we do not even know we do it. Our responses our instinctual. We gather information quickly and sort the people we meet. Mark Bowden, body language expert, classifies people into four categories: friend, sexual partner, indifferent and predator. We want to stay away from the last one and we gravitate towards the first two. 

The reptilian brain takes in information at lightning speed. It is designed to maximise our progress, our chances of survival and to keep us safe. We make snap decisions without realising. We take in huge amounts of information, quickly, and decide: friend or foe? One of the quickest ways to gain information about the environment is through colour, and one of the quickest ways to tell someone about yourself is also through colour. 

We have instinctive reptilian responses to certain colour groups. I remember the CEO of a company I was working for announcing mass redundancies over video link. He wore a grey shirt against a grey background. Grey is an anticonflict colour. Clever. The message he conveyed: “Hey don’t get angry at me. No target here.” White commonly symbolises purity. When we look at the justice system, we see a preponderance of black and white, even down to the clothes that are worn. The message is clear, the divine sword of justice will fall, the courts will deploy “black-and-white” thinking. A decision will be made. 

So, what about attraction? The first point to raise is, are we dealing with a biological male? Biologically there are differences between males and females, although some people are biologically caught in-between (bless or blame the SRY gene!). We also get to choose our identity too – isn’t this liberating? We can choose to act in our male energy or female energy, and we change who we are, even to the abundance of hormones such as oestrogen and testosterone in our body. Aren’t humans amazing? So, establishing a biological male or male energy base line, the research shows, that their attention and initial attraction will be towards two colours: red and pink. 

We can logically rationalise red. It gets our attention; it raises our energy. For a male identity this will increase the amount of testosterone in his body, making him physically feel good. You have his attention; his reptilian brain has identified a target. He is ready to hunt. A natural biological state for him. His prize is you. 

But what about pink? Along with the high energy, high testosterone state of a male energy identity on the hunt, we are increasingly aware that there is another side to masculine energies: protection. For any good male (non-predator) protection is in their DNA. They need to ensure that the human race continues, even at the expense of their own life first. Women and children, or even combining those dependents into a pregnant woman, are to be protected and cherished at all costs. Biologically, to a good male energy, protecting those in need makes him feel good. He is doing is job. Pink makes you vulnerable, almost childlike. It makes you soft and in need of him. Pink instinctively makes a male identity want to protect you. 

My final piece of advice? If you have a first date or a date night, ditch the LBD and instead wear a little red dress (LRD) – keep it classy! Or bring out the protector in him and go for pink. Either way, you will short circuit his neocortex and have an instant reaction from his reptilian brain (the one we all operate on most of the time). You will instinctively bring out his masculine traits of hunting or protection – and he will feel good.

Have you read?

The Secret to Beauty

The Dating Dance

Nice Guys vs Bad Guys

© Harriet Loveday Romance 2023