Read time: 7 minutes

There is a truism in “opposites attract”. Not in the sense of he likes football; you hate it. Or you like shopping; he is bored beyond belief. Because that is compatibility and we need a certain amount of compatibility and loving compromise to hang out and spend time together – comfortably. What I’m pointing to is something fundamental, at the level of positive and negative charge, north and south, yin and yang. 

A female energy woman is like catnip to a male energy man. He literally cannot resist you. You can take this further and say a female energy man is drawn to a male energy woman (the classic “mother”). Dr Pat Allen speaks and writes extensively on this. The point is to decide if you are a male or female energy, and stick to it. If you want a male energy man then you need to be a female energy woman to attract him. And I do mean attract. Don’t go out with your club, hit him over the head, drag him back to your cave, and tell him what to do – unless you want to be his mother. Which is perfectly ok if it is your conscious choice. 

What is a male energy? A male energy is driven to succeed, amass stuff, and assuming he is a good male energy, share what he has earnt. It gives him joy. It makes him feel like he is winning and giving every day, it raises his testosterone. He feels good. A good man wants to give, protect and cherish (Dr Pat Allen). In many ways men are lonely: all eyes are on them to see what they can achieve and they are judged on this. Their ability to acquire “stuff” will reflect the awesomeness of the mate they can attract. The more they win, the better the mate. They keep their mate by protecting her, giving her gifts and worshiping what she brings to the partnership. She is a testament to his credibility. She reflects how far he has come, by what he is able to keep (you). A failed man cannot keep a high value woman. If he is not willing to literally pay for you, such as gift giving and meals (in Neanderthal language: bring back the deer from the hunt) then he doesn’t value you. If he doesn’t stand before you in a crowd or keep his arm around you, if he doesn’t listen to you and value your feelings, then he is not a good man. Next. 

What is a female energy? She isn’t the one making the decisions in the relationship, although she does get to say, ‘No.’ to any hairbrained, crazy ideas. She doesn’t give the gifts, although she does give back. She doesn’t swear and punch people. She is feminine. She is soft. She is the opposite of the smelly, loud, burpy blokes he hangs out with. She is enchanting. She tells him honestly how she feels whenever he asks, so that he has a barometer to know when he is wondering off the path and not doing his cherishing role correctly. If he doesn’t listen to her feelings then there is always the threat that she will leave. Although this can’t be used as a stick in arguments. You must mean it if you threaten it, and believe another better man is out there. A woman routed in her feminine, values herself. Her clothes, her hair, her smell. She won’t accept poor behaviour and will decline. Rejecting all the man has built. In the opposite situation, towards a good man, she accepts him, just as he is. She ignores all his failed attempts on his road to success, and praises his wins. She partners him. She is his cheerleader. She is a soft pillow for him to lay his head at the end of the day. She is patient and kind. She makes him a better man. On a gut level he knows this, and that he cannot live without her. 

In work we all need to be masculine. We compete and shout just like men. We hunt a prize. We celebrate our successes. Our testosterone rises. But testosterone to a feminine energy is stressful. Our natural state is to gush oestrogen. So, leave work and fall back to your feminine as soon as possible. Create beauty in art or music. Read a romance novel! Communicate and call a friend. Take time out for you; to paint your nails or style your hair. Don’t give, all the time. Let your children discover their independence without your masculine dominance (even if there are a few dyed clothes washes – we all have to learn somewhere). Let go and focus on attraction. 

It is powerful to know that you have attracted someone to you for who you are, rather than forcing them to be with your through threats, shouting and dominance. A masculine energy man that is good will be attracted to a soft, kind, feminine energy woman, like north and south magnets clipping together. He will not be able to help himself. You will be is focus and his biggest prize. What do you have to do? Relax back, let go, don’t chase or shout, keep firm boundaries, say “no” to things that are wrong, share your emotions and give back gratefully to anything he gives. Be you x

Have you read?

The Secret to Beauty

The Colour of Attraction

Nice Guys vs Bad Guys

© Harriet Loveday Romance 2023