Read time: 6 minutes

I love the warm, Christmas, love fuzzies, don't you? That ice-melting, drink-pouring, tinselly-tummy feeling; when he looks at her, and she looks at him, and there are snowflakes, and it's all multi-coloured, fairy light beautiful. That’s Christmas romance, right? But like a drug addict getting their hit, we're always searching for the next romance high; bigger, brighter, more beautiful. OK, let’s stop the sleigh and take a moment out to consider all the poor men having to wade through the snow drifts to keep up with our expectations. I suspect expectations of romance start to become unrealistically unattainable as the festive season skis in. The romantic expectations around Christmas are the epitome of an unfortunate guy’s burning by yule log. He is judged by the present he buys you, whether he proposes to you or not on New Year's Eve (possibly in front of your family, and/or in front of your friends), or perhaps under the fireworks display he carefully choreographed and paid for without you knowing. ‘Tis the season where he must get everything just right, otherwise he's broken the romantic dream, almost as if you have just been told that Santa isn’t real (aside: it goes without saying, we all know that he is). 

Christmas and romance go together like a horse and carriage; love and marriage; mince pies and cream; it's the perfect combination. Soft snow blanketed landscapes, fairy lights, twinkling snowflakes, fluttering eyelashes and sparkly jumpers, cosying together by fires, having playful snowball fights. The loveliness of it all is endless, the romance of it all is perfect, and it brings out the true romantic in all of us. 

I would never want to disassociate romance from Christmas. Christmas it is one of my favourite times of the year, if not my favourite time of the year. Everyone is kind to each other, everybody wants the best, and there's an abundance of love everywhere. So how do we handle our snowman sized expectations and save our sorry, scurrying man, scrambling to reach the top of our expectation ski slope and balancing perilously high (because, sometimes, men need rescuing too). Like an addict coming down from a high, it is unrealistic to expect him to propose on New Year's Eve, and if he does, that's lovely, and don't chastise him for being cliché: he's done it because he loves you. If he buys the wrong present, or a coat that's too big or too small, just remember it's the thought that counts. Resetting our romance expectation barometer over the Christmas season means noticing all the little things that he does for you; like shielding for you from the traffic and slushy muck on the road, when you walk together along the pavement; or noticing that you're tired from finishing off work deadlines and juggling the kids, and he makes you a cup of coffee; or offers to help out (even if it's not effective helping and you have more to tidy up later – cooking often falls into this; just how many pans do you need to make turkey-cranberry risotto?); or when he lets you have your favourite TV programme or favourite Christmas rom-com, because he knows it will make you happy. It is in all of these little gestures that we find the romance of Christmas. Not in the over-inflated, Hollywood ego, forever trying to capture the attention of bigger audiences, and supply us romance addicts with better (snowball) hits.

The romance of the Christmas season is everywhere, if you look for it. But it does take a certain amount of discipline to batter back down the stress and the chaos, and having everything organised, and being right – all the time. The romance of the Christmas season means letting go and noticing all the beautiful little things that he does; gestures as soft as snowflakes, hugs as warm as a glass of mulled wine, and thoughtful little gestures a significant as any perfect present under the tree.

Happy Christmas my dear friends, and let's raise a glass of bubbles the romance of the Christmas season. 

Have you read?

The Secret to Beauty

The Colour of Attraction

The Dating Dance

Nice Guys vs Bad Guys

© Harriet Loveday Romance 2023